Expat Mums Blog

The accidental tourist

This morning I'm in Nottingham, on the 77 Bus en route from my hotel to a client's site and there is a three-year-old kid sitting behind me singing the Shut Up Song. For those of you unfamiliar with this ditty, it goes like this:
 
Shut up, shut up
Shut up, shut up
Shuuuuut up, shuuuut up
Shut up, shut up
 
This appears to be the only verse, although there is an occasional refrain that sounds something like, "Shut up, shut up, shut shut shut up . . ." One gets the feeling he hears that phrase a lot. But the worst part is, it has an unfortunately catchy tune so I just know it will be with me for the rest of the day. 

It followed me home -- an encounter with a British spider

Our trip to Dorset, as it turned out, coincided with the annual spider Olympics, heavyweight division. Every time I stepped into the garden I had to snap a branch from a nearby tree and move forward, twirling it in front of me like a foil as if I were fencing an invisible but energetic opponent.
 
In a way, I was. The spiders, with a few notable exceptions, were not visible during the day but they could collectively spin enough silk over night to trap a fly the size of an Airbus 330. Therefore, every afternoon, the garden table needed de-webbing, as did the chairs (along with a peek under the seats to make sure nothing untoward was hiding there) the pathways and any bushes close enough for a spider to leap from hiding onto any part of my body. (And, as I understand it, your average spider can leap about 50 feet.) 

Everything a mother says in a day -- condensed to two minutes and 55 seconds

Not sure who this woman is and why she is singing to a huge audience, but this is hilarious!

This post was written by Susanna, an Expat Mums Blog founder. She can also be found at her blog A Modern Mother.