Sometimes we think big decisions in life take time to take and you need to think and think pros and cons, evaluate, re-evaluate and then when you are 100% sure you make the move. Well actually that is not my case and if i start thinking back to the time i started to make my own decisions and carving my own path i have never taken long to make a crucial decision. Probably because if i would have evaluated and re-evaluated i would have never jumped in the pool. So this time again i jumped hoping for the best.
Left work on September 11th 2009 and arrived in Cayman on September 18th. Let’s face it the first week very little was going through my mind in terms of the future, it was all about getting to know the new environment more like a holidays let’s say… My husband had not started his job yet so the four of us plus the bump were just having a great time by the beach.
Then suddenly week 2 arrived, husband at work and me with two kids 4 and almost two to take care of!!! and then is when it hit me, oh my god i have never taken care of the kids for longer than a weekend or a holiday and this is it for who knows how many months!!!!
It sounds crazy but it is true after each maternity leave never more than 6 months, i went back to work. So in the case of Eryn she went to nursery and Dylan was taken care of by a nanny. I would be back from work at 6:30 time for bath, bed time story and of to sleep at 7:30 the latest. That was my life then of course the weekends and holidays i would try my best to make up for the time lost but really after work you are sooo tired that the whole saying of quality time Vs quantity becomes more of an excuse than anything else.
But now it was for real, i had the time i was going to spend tons of time with my kids and the thought on one side made me very happy on the other scared me to death!! what i am going to do?? and what about me? yes what about me? that was the key question.
Once you become a mum it seems that to think about you is a sin, all you do and all your decisions are for the best of your kids and you become an after thought. But the truth is that we are all selfish and we all need our space and take care of ourselves. so although i am a mum if i don’t think about me i will not be able to provide a healthy environment to me kids!! at least that is what i think. I need to make sure i keep on top of what is going on in the world of culture, arts, economy, politics, trends, fashion, technology… so taking all this into account you can understand my fear and panic attack on the second week in Cayman when i realised i was without a job, in a extremely small island, with nothing to do but taking care of the kids!!!!!!
Mercedesis a British expat that currently lives in the Caymum Islands.
Photo credit: slack12