Expat Mums Blog

I don't Monday!

Continuing my rant about policemen all over the city of Almaty who stop, hassle and then extort cash from drivers for no reason whatsoever I would like to share with you some advice I was given by Wise Old Owl, a long-time expatriate who has coped in regimes worse than this one before now and is utterly inured to coruption.

"When you're stopped," she said, taking a break in her sentence to inhale deeply from a menthol cigarette, "Just say 'Ya-Nee-Pon-Ee-Je-Nick'. It's easy."

She is as cool as a cucumber, I suspect, in most situations and facing the local constabulary would be a walk in the park. I was new to town and did not know any Russian at this point, so she explained:
"You see, the police will think you are trying very hard to speak Russian but you are completely crap at it. 'Pon-Ee-Je-Nick' means Monday. But 'Pon-Ee-My-Oh' means I understand. So you say 'I don't Monday' and it sounds like you are trying to say 'I don't understand' but you can't even get that right," she chortled.

Breastfeeding in Brazil

I recently attended a birthday party for a friend’s two-year old. It was a small, low-key get together for the neighbors.

There were balloons, cake, and salgadinhos (little salty snacks). The dads sat on the porch drinking beer and watching the kids bat the balloons around, while the moms took the couches inside.

There were four of us, with babies ranging in age from two weeks to fifteen months. We nursed and chatted about sleep schedules and diapers and how much beer was optimal for increasing milk production.

Dinner Invitations ...

Now I am no etiquette expert, and my book certainly doesn’t attempt it either. However, there are certain things I feel I must tell expat parents about responding to dinner invitations, as the UK/US “rules” are, once again, different.

In the UK, if your kids aren’t mentioned specifically it means they aren’t invited. You can try “clarifying” but it won’t get you anywhere.  In addition, phoning up at the last minute to say you have no babysitter, will be greeted with something like, “Oh well, another time then”. British hosts usually won’t move the entire dinner party to 5pm to accommodate you. If your children are invited, the host is the boss, so don’t be surprised if you hear your kids being admonished in the other room for “not asking politely”.

An American in England: the director's cut

I thoroughly enjoyed Calif Lorna's short movie. She's an English woman living in California, and the movie shows her asking for a glass of water, and getting lots of cliches along the way.

At the end of the clip, it says "If you can type, you can make movies". I can indeed type, thought I, so off I went to the movie-making website, and had a jolly time.

I thought I'd try a little empathising, so my movie is about what I imagine it's like to be an American in England. The English woman comes across as rather aggressive - I intended her to be conversational. I'll have to scrap her and get a more empathetic actress next time.

US expats, have you had conversations like this?

Iota blogs at Not Wrong, Just Different. An erstwhile civil servant, then fundraiser (arts and voluntary sector). Now Mum/Mom at home.

Coffee Cake, A cultural misunderstanding

You’d think after 20 years of visiting or living in America there’d be no more misunderstandings.  You’ve worked them all out.  Faucet = tap, elevator = lift and so on.  But every now and then something catches me out and a small cultural misunderstanding takes place.

This time it was Coffee Cake.

I love coffee, particularly lattes and am completely unable to get through the day without having one.  So much so, that I don’t even have to order at my local café, when I walk through the door they start making my large, non-fat, latte.  And if I haven’t visited for a few days, the barista harasses me if he cycles by me on the boardwalk.  No, that’s not embarrassing at all.