The stages of cultural adaptation

I read a post on culture shock over at Almost American and had an "Aha!" moment. Several of them actually.

As I looked over the stages of emotional well being while being abroad for an extended period ... pre-departure ups and downs, the honeymoon, acute homesickness, and finally adaptation, I was shaking my head like Bill Gates at a meeting.

Yes, we always have loads of emotional ups and downs right before a big move. Some days I would cry because we were leaving family and friends, and others I would be so excited that I would have a smile permanently planted on my face.

This is not to mention everything related to the logistical part of the move -- giving notice, renting the house, packing, booking flights, etc. I remember having a working "to do" list with about 150 items on it (really).

  

We also had the honeymoon period. Our last move was from La Jolla to the UK almost two years ago (remember that summer with really bad weather???) and I had stored up so much sunshine from three years in San Diego that even the bad weather didn't get me down. I was ecstatic with my new surroundings.

Yes, I got homesick. I remember calling my best San Diego buddy at 3 am when I couldn't sleep. You sort of ease slowly out of your last "life" into your new one, and of course you miss it. Sorely.

Then adaptation. Finally no more whining. The kids are settled in school. I can find things at Tesco now. I have some friends. The weather? Well at least it gives you something to talk about.

Repatriating is like a replay of the first stages. Ups and downs of the impending move, initial excitement at being home, missing the other culture, and then adoption.

I've decided that I'm in a perpetual state of culture shock. I am a citizen of both the US and UK, and we move between the two often. On any given day I can be really homesick, missing another culture, excited by a new find, or just getting on with it.

This post was written by Susanna, an Expat Mums Blog founding contributor. You can read more at her blog, A Modern Mother.

Photo credit: monkeyc

Comments

[Michael Harling]

Wow, I don't remember any of that! I think I just went from amused and befuddled, to more amused and slightly less befuddled, to really amused and just mildy confused. I'm still there. I'm glad I didn't know about the chart, I think I would have had trouble keeping up.

Good post, and interesting info. Thanks.

[wandermom]

Sending this to my sister - who's just about to leave Manchester UK for Sydney. Should help her get her head around what she's in for.

[Expat Mum]

To Wandermom, Vicky Gray (another bloggy friend) has just written a book called "Didgeree Do's and Didgeree-Don'ts" for Brits going to Oz. If it's not out yet, I can put her in touch with Vicky.
There are tons of Brits in Sydney. She will be fine.

[Susanna (A Modern Mother)]

Expat -- do you know EVERY expat author?!

[Almost American]

I'm glad my post gave you some "aha!" moments! Rereading it now, I'm thinking it was very short and I could have written much more - though much of the point was to make the links to American Bedu's blog. I taught a class on this once, and was a foreign student advisor for several years, as well as having been an expat for over 20 years now.

A lot of people present the culture shock graph as being very linear, but the truth is, as you've discovered we can bop backwards and forwards between phases depending on our mood!

[Andrea (lovingmums)]

I just found your site. It's very informative thanks. We are moving from Australia to Thailand in January with a 4,3 and 1 year old and I am trying to prepare myself and the children as much as possible whilst being aware of the emotions still to come. I'm sure I'll keep coming back to read more!